I’ve been trying to write something about antismokers. But I’m waiting for a book to arrive in the post today – because the Royal Mail has emailed me to say it’s out for delivery. It could arrive at any moment.
I bought the book from Amazon. And I noticed a week or so back that Amazon had just completed their first delivery using a drone.
Amazon boss Jeff Bezos announced firm completed first drone delivery in Cambridge on December 7
…the delivery was sent to the company’s next door neighbour – just 765 yards away
So I’m wondering whether my book might be their second drone delivery.
How big are these drones? If one is just carrying a book, it might be small enough to fly in through a window.
Perhaps I should open a window? And clear a space on a table near the window with enough space on it for it to hover over and deposit the book – say, between the big cardboard box full of computer bits and the pile of books. Maybe it’ll need to land? Would the fly swat and the Tomb Raider CD make a good landing pad?
And what if it can’t find its way out once it’s come in? What if it’s like some giant fly or wasp, crashing against walls and windows, trying to get out, while I cower under a table?
What’s needed is an external window-mounted drop box. The drone arrives outside over the drop box, hovers briefly over it, deposits its load into it, and maybe taps against the window to announce its delivery. Maybe I could make one using a spare cardboard box.
I suppose the skies are going to be full of these little critters soon. They’ll have their own lanes in the sky. Or maybe their own layers. Air traffic control is going to have its work cut out. And there’ll be police drones with flashing LEDs and thin reedy sirens. They’ll be as common as birds. And not very much bigger. And there will be big drone pile-ups in the sky, after which hundreds of broken drones will litter the streets.
And there’ll be smuggling drones. They’ll come over from France, carrying cartons of Gauloises, pursued by police drones.
I think the next major war will be fought with drones. Each side will have hundred of thousands of them, armed with bombs or rockets or miniature machine guns. They’ll fly through open windows, and explode inside. They’ll come down lift shafts. Or through ventilation ducts. Some of them will be as small as mosquitoes.
And there’ll be radar-controlled anti-drone guns. You’ll be able to buy them from Amazon too. They’ll fire little gobbets of hot glue at the incoming micro-drones. They’ll shoot down flies or wasps or other bugs too…
It’s just arrived. It didn’t come by drone after all. Instead the door-bell rang, and a cheerful voice in the intercom announced the delivery.
I wonder if the drones will have cheery voices? I wonder if they’ll also say “Nice and warm in here,” as they deposit a bottle of wine onto your dinner table?
Anyway, I can close the window now. It was getting a bit cold.