Drone Parcel Delivery

I’ve been trying to write something about antismokers. But I’m waiting for a book to arrive in the post today – because the Royal Mail has emailed me to say it’s out for delivery. It could arrive at any moment.

I bought the book from Amazon. And I noticed a week or so back that Amazon had just completed their first delivery using a drone.


Amazon boss Jeff Bezos announced firm completed first drone delivery in Cambridge on December 7

…the delivery was sent to the company’s next door neighbour – just 765 yards away

So I’m wondering whether my book might be their second drone delivery.

How big are these drones? If one is just carrying a book, it might be small enough to fly in through a window.

Perhaps I should open a window? And clear a space on a table near the window with enough space on it for it to hover over and deposit the book – say, between the big cardboard box full of computer bits and the pile of books. Maybe it’ll need to land? Would the fly swat and the Tomb Raider CD make a good landing pad?

And what if it can’t find its way out once it’s come in? What if it’s like some giant fly or wasp, crashing against walls and windows, trying to get out, while I cower under a table?

What’s needed is an external window-mounted drop box. The drone arrives outside over the drop box, hovers briefly over it, deposits its load into it, and maybe taps against the window to announce its delivery. Maybe I could make one using a spare cardboard box.

I suppose the skies are going to be full of these little critters soon. They’ll have their own lanes in the sky. Or maybe their own layers. Air traffic control is going to have its work cut out. And there’ll be police drones with flashing LEDs and thin reedy sirens. They’ll be as common as birds. And not very much bigger. And there will be big drone pile-ups in the sky, after which hundreds of broken drones will litter the streets.

And there’ll be smuggling drones. They’ll come over from France, carrying cartons of Gauloises, pursued by police drones.

I think the next major war will be fought with drones. Each side will have hundred of thousands of them, armed with bombs or rockets or miniature machine guns. They’ll fly through open windows, and explode inside. They’ll come down lift shafts. Or through ventilation ducts. Some of them will be as small as mosquitoes.

And there’ll be radar-controlled anti-drone guns. You’ll be able to buy them from Amazon too. They’ll fire little gobbets of hot glue at the incoming micro-drones. They’ll shoot down flies or wasps or other bugs too…

It’s just arrived. It didn’t come by drone after all. Instead the door-bell rang, and a cheerful voice in the intercom announced the delivery.

I wonder if the drones will have cheery voices? I wonder if they’ll also say “Nice and warm in here,” as they deposit a bottle of wine onto your dinner table?

Anyway, I can close the window now. It was getting a bit cold.


About Frank Davis

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15 Responses to Drone Parcel Delivery

  1. Harleyrider1978 says:

    Cool way to deliver bootleg smokes to customers

    • Harleyrider1978 says:

      In America we have a tendency to shoot things down over our property just an American thing I guess

      • Bucko says:

        I was thinking it would be fun if there was a drone air lane above our clay pigeon shooting club. That would mean random prizes for every hit…

  2. Timothy Goodacre says:

    Mmm…good idea Frank ! Cigs arriving from abroad and not paying stupid UK duty rates or getting plain packets !

  3. slugbop007 says:

    I would like to send drones to puritan utopists Deb Arnott, Margie C. and co.


  4. slugbop007 says:

    MIchelle Obama neglected to include Frosty the Snowman on her hit list. Corn cob pipe, two eyes made of coal. Horrors!


    Also recorded by: Guy Lombardo 1949/1952, Red Foley 1950, Spike Jones UNK, Mitch Miller 1961, The Chipmunks 1962, The Ronettes 1963, The Beach Boys 1964, Brenda Lee 1964, Jimmy Durante 1969 (on the animated TV special), The Brady Bunch 1970, Lynn Anderson 1971, Bing Crosby 1977, Conway Twitty 1983, George Strait 1986, Ella Fitzgerald 1988, Leon Redbone 1988, Four Freshmen 1992, Cocteau Twins 1993 Glen Campbell 1995, The Carpenters 1996, Jackson Five 2001, Harry Connick, Jr. 2003, The Charlie Daniels Band 2003, Loretta Lynn 2005, Michael Bublé 2012, LeAnn Rimes 2015.

    I guess we’ll have to ban all these songs. I see lots of lawsuits in the future.


  5. slugbop007 says:

    garyk30 says: December 19, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    What would you send them? Smelly stuff no doubt.

    An autographed photo from Adolph Hitler, congratulating them on a job well done.

    Lawsuits might be a good idea. There are a lot of copyright laws that would be infringed, heritage monies compromised. The people that photoshopped Churchill’s cigar should be sued.


  6. slugbop007 says:

    Anybody here see this film from thirty plus years ago?

    HealtH (also known as Health and H.E.A.L.T.H.) is a 1980 ensemble comedy film, the fifteenth feature project from director Robert Altman. It stars Carol Burnett, Glenda Jackson, James Garner, Lauren Bacall, and Paul Dooley, and was written by Altman, Dooley and Frank Barhydt


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