I was looking for the right word. I came across it yesterday, finally.
I’m worried that Donald Trump is going to be unpresidented. I think he might be a bit worried about it too, seeing that he came up with this word for it.
He might get unpresidented tomorrow, 19 December. Because I think that tomorrow is when the US electoral college votes in Trump as president. Normally it’s just an automatic rubber stamp, but this year there have been calls for the electoral college to vote against Trump. I’ve read that only 38 electors need to switch their votes for it to happen. Some college professor somewhere has said that they’ve got the 38 needed. So maybe tomorrow there’ll come the bombshell news that Trump has been unpresidented. And that Hillary Clinton has been empresidented. Or maybe represidented. With the agreement of the House of Represidentives.
Because it seems to me quite possible, that come Inauguration Day, it’s not going to be Donald Trump making the big speech, but the spectral figure of Hillary Rodham Clinton, the woman who should have won the election, the woman whose turn it was to be president, but who had been unpresidented by a complete outsider.
Everyone knew she was going to be elected. Except the Russians knew better.
And there are people telling us that the Russians knew better because they’d hacked the voting machines to ensure that Trump won. The Russians really didn’t want Hillary Clinton. Putin had said there would be war if she became president.
And actually, the world has been teetering on the brink of war for months, with NATO forces on Russia’s border, and Russian aircraft carriers in the Mediterranean, and Obama ramping up anti-Russian rhetoric.
If Trump isn’t unpresidented by the electoral college, he might be unpresidented by an executive order by Barack Obama, citing national emergency, as the US goes to war with Russia, leaving Trump sidelined in Trump Tower.
Or he might be unpresidented by the Lone Gunman. It’s always a lone gunman, isn’t it?
Michael Moore, who foresaw Trump’s win, thinks the same way:
“He’s not president ‘til noon on January 20th of 2017,” he said. “That’s more than six weeks away. Would you not agree, regardless what side of the political fence you’re on, this has been the craziest election year. Nothing anyone predicted has happened — the opposite has happened. So is it possible, just possible, that in these next six weeks, something else might happen — something crazy, something we’re not expecting?”
It’s going to be a nervous, jumpy month ahead.
The rational side of me says this is nonsense. Trump won. And in about a month’s time, he’s going to be standing in front of the Capitol, making his inauguration speech…
…while eating a cheeseburger. Because every time I think of Trump making that speech, I always imagine him waving a cheeseburger, held in a spotless white napkin, and using it to make bullet points with gobs of mustard.