A Zombie Candidate With Undead Bodyguards

Hillary Clinton’s health has been coming under intense scrutiny recently, with several doctors – including Dr Ben Carson – calling for  the release of her medical history and/or a medical examination.

Today the Drudge Report headlined a photo of her using a stool to get into her limo.


It seems a perfectly reasonable thing to do. I don’t know what the fuss is about. I might get one for my car.

But what I find really creepy about this photo isn’t her, but the guy standing on the left, with his fists clenched and his feet turned sharply inward towards each other. Does he always stand that way? He looks exactly like one of the undead in Night of the Living Dead – the ones that come tottering awkwardly and unsteadily forward, often dragging one foot.

All he needs is congealed blood oozing out of his mouth, and he’d be perfect.

The other two bodyguards look pretty normal. But they probably won’t be for very much longer, after the zombie launches the savage, flailing attack on them that it looks like it’s winding itself up to do.

Maybe that’s why there’s no blood round its mouth. It hasn’t attacked them and started eating their arms yet.

I hope Hillary managed to get into the car before the zombie attacked, and the chauffeur made a fast getaway, leaving the other two suckers behind.

Unless the chauffeur was another zombie?

Could Hillary be a zombie too?

Maybe that would explain everything? The reports that she takes powerful blood-thinning drugs (Coumadin, aka Warfarin) would make sense: blood congeals quickly in the veins of the undead. Same also for the unsteadiness on her feet: just watch those zombies shambling around – they probably fall over all the time.

It all slots into place, like pieces of a jigsaw. And the final piece of evidence comes from the Jimmy Kimmel show she appeared on:

HC: Take my pulse while I’m talking to you.

JK: Okay.

HC: Make sure I’m alive.

JK: Oh my God, there’s nothing there!

HC: There’s nothing there!

Case closed.

About Frank Davis

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16 Responses to A Zombie Candidate With Undead Bodyguards

  1. Joe L. says:

    That definitely is a strange pose for a Secret Service agent. He very well may be a zombie, but then again, maybe he simply fronts an all-Secret Service agent Elvis Costello tribute band on the weekends?

  2. harleyrider1978 says:

    Looks like shes after the sympathy vote

    • Joe L. says:

      That’s possible, but I doubt it’s all a show.

      As the first female nominee for POTUS, Hillary and her campaign have pushed the idea that women are just as capable as men of holding the position. However, she’s taken an extended ‘bathroom break’ during a televised primary debate, has been photographed being helped up stairs by two Secret Service agents, been held upright on a small pedestal by two Secret Service agents while giving a speech at a rally, and now using a step stool to enter an SUV. Whether she’s faking it for sympathy or not, I must say she’s doing women everywhere a disservice by appearing so weak and dependent.

  3. He is standing in what is called, in Martial Arts,a ‘Pigeon Toed Stance’ . Every type of MA has a different name for it but , whilst it looks truly stupid, it is actually a very useful, very strong stance. No idea why the bodyguard felt the need to use it though, maybe he thought it would look good on camera…it doesn’t.

    • garyk30 says:

      Note his clenched fists.

      He seems to be ready for some sort problem.

      • Been pondering it during the day and it still seems strange to me. It looks a very ‘classic’ stance for a bodyguard/Secret Service. I don’t know what they teach SecSer men these days but I doubt it is any of the classical forms…probably some own brew hybrid of Krav. It is a good stance to shield the candidate, makes you very wide and stabile-lowers the centre of gravity etc but I would have thought if that were the case he would facing the other way- his back to Hilary. But i never worked that level of bodyguarding so I may be totally wrong. The big problem with that stance is that it costs a fraction of second longer to get out of….besides looking like you’ve shat yourself.

  4. harleyrider1978 says:
  5. Clicky says:

  6. harleyrider1978 says:
  7. harleyrider1978 says:
  8. harleyrider1978 says:

    an old sea story from the navy days in ROTA SPAIN as an MP

    I had a senior chief 27 years navy get in my face when I was an MP in the delta company office with about 60 others there. He starts yelling at me over the next deployment status when I asked ehos in charge of det diego garcia as thats what they had me down on,its a B52 farm in the indian ocean 1700 miles from anywhere. He got real cocky and I said look chief I just want to know who the det officer is and get it swapped……….his ass kissing other chief says you call him senior.. said like hell I will….
    .then senior gets in my face and says spitting in my face see this star and 27 years in this mans navy says you will now READ MY LIPS he says!

    I said chief it sure looks like your lips been around!

    Then the fight was on,poor man I had cuffs gun nite stick etc etc………I beat em up tossed him in the paddy wagon took his ass to jail. He got 3 months confinement to base and loss of a months pay!

    You see when your on duty as an MP its the same as your the CAPTAIN of the base. If anyone lays a hand on you its the same as putting hands on the commanding officer in charge as he is the ony one who can order physical force. I had that as an MP

  9. smokingscot says:

    Re Guard.

    Christ I need a pee.

    Nope, just mind over matter.

    Nope, I really do need a pee.

    Yup, I really do need to go – right now.

    Oh do so hurry up you hacket old broad.

  10. beobrigitte says:

    It all slots into place, like pieces of a jigsaw. And the final piece of evidence comes from the Jimmy Kimmel show she appeared on:

    HC: Take my pulse while I’m talking to you.

    JK: Okay.

    HC: Make sure I’m alive.

    JK: Oh my God, there’s nothing there!

    HC: There’s nothing there!

    That’s 2 idiots meeting up. One who relies on hiding health issues. And one who hasn’t got a clue about taking a pulse of a ?braindead person.

    If somebody at the age of 68 (virulent anti-smokers especially) needs steps to get into a car https://cfrankdavis.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/hillary_clinton_limo_entry.jpg?w=640
    I have serious problems about their credibility.
    Hilary, there is a time in life to RETIRE. And it’s best to pick it when you’re body hasn’t succumbed to age. Yours appears to have done it ever so slightly prematurely. But then, you probably never could balance pleasure and work. It was all ‘live for work. Now it looks like you’re dying for what you believe in.
    I, too, will die one day. However, since I never lived for work but when in work I did my job more than to perfection (a pride thing, and it makes the work hours pass more quickly), never was greedy, I am good. So good that I am achieving a few things at a rate I never expected; actually, I never expected at all that I would so easily (at my age, where my body is supposed to decline!!!) build up muscles…. (Drawback is my cold feet. Last night I had to make a hot water bottle….. my blood pressure has dropped to 115/75 since I started the tough mudder exercising; probably it will get to my 90/60 at some point again. And I do get cold feet all the time then. I lived with that for a long time.)
    But then, I always kept my mind off single track temptations. I LIVED all my live for laughs, earning what I need and ENJOYING life. I can’t do with little fuckers who burned out for their own personal greed years ago.

    Looks like I’m good for many things to come. Not that I want them. I want to leave this planet before age dementia makes me stare at bamboo coloured walls all day. And makes my offspring cry to have to see what has become of their fighting mum. It looks like smoking isn’t going to help me, is it?

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