Hillary Clinton’s health has been coming under intense scrutiny recently, with several doctors – including Dr Ben Carson – calling for the release of her medical history and/or a medical examination.
Today the Drudge Report headlined a photo of her using a stool to get into her limo.
It seems a perfectly reasonable thing to do. I don’t know what the fuss is about. I might get one for my car.
But what I find really creepy about this photo isn’t her, but the guy standing on the left, with his fists clenched and his feet turned sharply inward towards each other. Does he always stand that way? He looks exactly like one of the undead in Night of the Living Dead – the ones that come tottering awkwardly and unsteadily forward, often dragging one foot.
All he needs is congealed blood oozing out of his mouth, and he’d be perfect.
The other two bodyguards look pretty normal. But they probably won’t be for very much longer, after the zombie launches the savage, flailing attack on them that it looks like it’s winding itself up to do.
Maybe that’s why there’s no blood round its mouth. It hasn’t attacked them and started eating their arms yet.
I hope Hillary managed to get into the car before the zombie attacked, and the chauffeur made a fast getaway, leaving the other two suckers behind.
Unless the chauffeur was another zombie?
Could Hillary be a zombie too?
Maybe that would explain everything? The reports that she takes powerful blood-thinning drugs (Coumadin, aka Warfarin) would make sense: blood congeals quickly in the veins of the undead. Same also for the unsteadiness on her feet: just watch those zombies shambling around – they probably fall over all the time.
It all slots into place, like pieces of a jigsaw. And the final piece of evidence comes from the Jimmy Kimmel show she appeared on:
HC: Take my pulse while I’m talking to you.
HC: Make sure I’m alive.
JK: Oh my God, there’s nothing there!
HC: There’s nothing there!