Healthy Cooking Tips – Sausage, Egg, and Beans

(Left Eye View)

sausageEggBeansXTry to find, somewhere at the back of the fridge:

1 Sausage.
1 Egg.
1 tin of Baked Beans.





Clear a space for your frying pan on the cooker by pushing aside saucepans full of last week’s old mouldy green soup/ravioli/fish fingers.

Fry sausage, egg and beans at high heat until they are all well blackened round the edges.




Break open a beer. Clear a space in front of TV. And carry on watching Gardener’s World.

Approx preparation time: 0.8 – 1.2 cigarettes.

About Frank Davis

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18 Responses to Healthy Cooking Tips – Sausage, Egg, and Beans

  1. castello2 says:

    Reminded me of this song. heat up some cold beans, eat crackers and dream about somebody to cook for me.

  2. The Blocked Dwarf says:

    Ah yes, The Cigarette as a unit of time. Here an example of my own use of this excellent time keeping device:

  3. Marvin says:

    Brilliant Frank, your best so far…

    I like the “best before last month” bit, it reminded me of the time I ate some cream crackers, they tasted like cardboard, but looked perfect. When I checked the best before date, to my horror they were THREE YEARS out of date!!! – yet they looked perfect. It makes you wonder what they put in them to preserve them for that long.

    Anyway, have you done anything with your Raspberry Pi yet?

    • Frank Davis says:

      Anyway, have you done anything with your Raspberry Pi yet?

      I got it working.

      And this was really all I wanted to do. I spent much of my life with microcomputers, simply trying to get them working. So the Raspberry Pi was like doing it all again.

      I never had any plans to actually do anything with it.

  4. Simon says:

    This reminds of my student days when I used to cook a fry-up just wearing my C.N.D tee-shirt and underpants, with my roomate smoking and laughing about NormanTebbits tweed jacket with leather piping and leather elbow covers.

    Those were the days.

  5. Rose says:

    Frank, I am remarkably unimpressed.

    Mind you, this morning I have been busy making a silver cigarette holder that exactly fits a roll-up. I can’t imagine why I never thought of doing that before, perhaps it was your illustration of a cigarette next to an opened tin of beans that triggered the sudden inspiration.

    • Cecily Collingridge says:

      I use a holder. Making a silver one reminded me of an old engraved silver and amber one I sadly lost when a theatre design student in the 70s. It looked a bit like this:

      • Rose says:

        A beautiful cigarette holder.

        I should have added that your comment the other day was in the back of my head when I made mine, I tried getting a cigarette holder a couple of years ago, but couldn’t find one to fit.
        Mine is only a simple tube made out of a bit of left-over sheet , but it does seems to be working. Undecorated as yet, but I have polished it so it’s at least shiny.

        Come to think of it, amber would make a kinder mouthpiece instead of just drawing part of the filter through, and I happen to have a few rough lumps of amber.

        I also have some unworked Whitby Jet……

        Thank you, Cecily.

        • Cecily Collingridge says:

          There are some lovely other designs if you search for images of ‘silver and amber cigarette holders’. If you do make a mouthpiece, I suggest you don’t make the aperture so small that you can’t get a pipe cleaner or screwed up bit of tissue up inside it to clean it.

        • smokingscot says:

          @ Rose

          They make them commercially.


          Cheap (them’s the blue packs):

          and they’ve got adaptors to convert a regular holder to fit a rolly.

        • Rose says:

          A good point, Cecily, it will need cleaning, in fact since you showed me that picture I’ve been thinking about cigarette holders all afternoon.

          I only had a 2.2cm x 2.5cm bit of silver, 0.3mm thick and it wrapped very nicely around a 7mm knitting needle, which luckily fits a Swan slim filter with a tiny allowance for the cigarette paper.
          Being so small it’s very discrete and it’s only big enough to protect your fingers,

          I think though that I may make another much prettier cigarette holder with a jet and amber mouthpiece in horizontal stripes, because I’ve done that before, though drilling it through will be scary. I’m new to this and engraving patterns is out of the question.

          Still, since I have no social life at all thanks to ASH I have plenty of time to learn new things.

        • Rose says:

          Thank you, SmokingScot, but the one I made this morning is a lot prettier. We must have been typing at the same time.

  6. nisakiman says:

    I see Tricky Dickie is up to his old tricks of trying to impersonate someone else again.


  7. harleyrider1978 says:

    SMOKING IS NORMAL even cooking dinner Moms ashes in the food were never noticed! LOL

    • harleyrider1978 says:

      My sister Paula use to eat cig butts and ashes out of the ash trays at home when she was 2-3. Mom worked for a pediatrician in 1969 and asked him if it would hurt her. He said nope she might puke but its not going to harm her in anyway. That was Dr mendelson in Jacksonville N.C.

  8. Roobeedoo2 says:

    Are you quite sure it was Gardener’s World you were watching, Frank? For sure there are a couple of prize blooms on screen, but the undergrowth looks to be running wild. Standards at the Beeb slipping?

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