Taking Liberties yesterday:
In case you missed it, yesterday was No Smoking Day.
What a surprise. Nobody told me. Did I miss anything?
Did everybody stop smoking for the day? And then start smoking again the next day?
But a whole day is quite a long time to stop smoking. I’m not sure I could manage a whole day. An hour maybe. And a minute certainly.
They should have No Smoking Minutes just like they have One Minute Silences when someone dies. It would be easier, and much more practical. After all, they don’t have One Day Silences, do they? Bit much to ask people to keep quiet for a whole day.
So to make up for missing No Smoking Day, I’ve just held my own No Smoking Minute.
It wasn’t very difficult. And, just like they say, my health had improved no end after just 30 seconds. I could almost feel the oxygen surging through my blood vessels to replace all the carbon monoxide and Polonium 210 and road tar. And furthermore I made constructive use of the No Smoking minute to roll myself my next cigarette.
But in fact I quite naturally have lots of unscheduled No Smoking minutes every day. Add them all up and I reckon I have at least one No Smoking day a month.
Maybe that’s why I’m in such good health. It’s the cumulative effect of all those health-restoring No Smoking minutes I have every day.
And if I actually stopped smoking completely, I’d no longer get the benefit of those restorative No Smoking days and hours and minutes. My health would probably deteriorate very rapidly.
I really don’t think I want to take that sort of risk.