H/T Rose, the new antismoking ads feature roll-ups:
“My mistake, the cigarette in the new advert is hard to roll because he’s using rotting flesh.”
That set me thinking along culinary lines. Get hold of some rotting flesh (diced Arnott or boiled Bauld or rotting Glands from CRUK?), or just minced beef from your local butcher. Chop some shallots and mushrooms. Mix in garlic and tomato puree. Spread the mix on rice paper, like so:
And roll into a cancer stick:
Pre-heat oven to 180° C, and bake for 20 minutes.
Remove from oven while steam and 4,000 other chemicals are coming out of both ends of the roll-ups, and serve immediately as a pack of 20. This is an ideal treat for children:
Diligent mums may want to paint tumours on the rice paper. Or else add cheese or mushy peas to the cancer mix so that they boil out of the sides of the cancer sticks to form realistic ‘tumours’.