How to Roll Cancer Sticks

H/T Rose, the new antismoking ads feature roll-ups:

“My mistake, the cigarette in the new advert is hard to roll because he’s using rotting flesh.”

That set me thinking along culinary lines. Get hold of some rotting flesh (diced Arnott or boiled Bauld or rotting Glands from CRUK?), or just minced beef from your local butcher. Chop some shallots and mushrooms. Mix in garlic and tomato puree. Spread the mix on rice paper, like so:

cancer-stick1

And roll into a cancer stick:

cancer-stick2

cancer-stick3Make 20 cancer sticks, and lay on baking tray, like so:

Pre-heat oven to 180° C, and bake for 20 minutes.

Remove from oven while steam and 4,000 other chemicals are coming out of both ends of the roll-ups, and serve immediately as a pack of 20. This is an ideal treat for children:

cancer-stick6

Diligent mums may want to paint tumours on the rice paper. Or else add cheese or mushy peas to the cancer mix so that they boil out of the sides of the cancer sticks to form realistic ‘tumours’.

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About Frank Davis

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39 Responses to How to Roll Cancer Sticks

  1. roobeedoo2 says:

    Your artwork, Frank? Fantastic!

  2. harleyrider1978 says:

    A Old family tradition brought back into vogue by tobacco control………….Smoking together at dinner time!

  3. nisakiman says:

    Every time I think they have really scraped the bottom of the barrel they manage to prove me wrong, and come out with something that plumbs even greater depths. And I bet there is much smug back-slapping and self-congratulation at this latest advertising wheeze, too. One wonders what fact-free grotesqueness they will dredge out of their warped imaginations next. The mind boggles…

    • Rose says:

      Well, Nisakiman, this years Doctor Who Christmas Special was about face huggers that slowly digest your brain while you dream, so my money is on something similar next year as anti-tobacco have only recently started linking smoking to Alzheimer’s and dementia and will want to promote it.

      http://www.express.co.uk/life-style/health/379024/Smoking-doubles-risk-of-developing-Alzheimer-s-scientists-claim

      Place bets now.

      • harleyrider1978 says:

        I never bet against science fiction writers for the movies and anti-smoking PSA’s they are one in the same. I trust you rant to be true. Brain suction at night while you smoke in your sleep.

        • harleyrider1978 says:

          I just never quite got risk pathways to end point disease outcomes………..somehow its like a bridge to nowhere!

        • Rose says:

          Harley, I try not to let my research intrude on Christmas but as I was dreamily deglazing the roasting pan with water to make the gravy for Boxing Day lunch, it occured to me that I was really stirring a mixture of benzopyrene along with thousands of other baked on chemicals, all of them toxic when ingested in huge amounts.

          I did not share this entertaining vision with my family as they have never studied anti-tobacco propaganda and taken literally, it would only have put them off their lunch.

          I have managed to find the American Council On Science and Health, Holiday menu updated for this year.

          Enjoy your holiday dinner — chemicals and all!
          http://acsh.org/2014/11/acsh-holiday-dinner-menu/

          “No human diet can be free of naturally occurring chemicals that are rodent carcinogens. Of the chemicals that people eat, 99.99% are natural.”…

          The Full Menu

        • Rose says:

          Ooops, that went terribly wrong, could you fix it for me please, Frank?

        • Rose says:

          Thank you, Frank.

      • nisakiman says:

        How on earth are they going to swing that one, Rose, when it’s been fairly well established that smokers are less prone to Alzheimer’s and dementia? I know that they lie as a matter of course, but the relationship between smoking and protection from Alzheimer’s and dementia has been in the public domain for some years now. And ‘scientists’ are ‘claiming’ the opposite now?

        Ye Gods…

        • Rose says:

          Nisakiman, I have often noticed that anti-tobacco science seems to work in reverse, if you hold it up to a mirror and read it backwards, you will find the original information that they were trying to cover up.
          Over the past seven years, anti-tobacco science has been invaluable to me in finding out information that I didn’t know about previously.

  4. Tom says:

    It’s one of the nicest looking cartoons and coolest messaging I’ve seen in a long, long time. Very nice.

  5. Smoking Lamp says:

    I guess you ave to ramp up the fear mongering when your propaganda campaign starts to fall apart. Just a few days ago Cancer Research UK claimed that 42% of cancers in the UK were due to preventable lifestyle choices. Smoking alone was said to account for 19% of total cases. Surprisingly that means 68% of cancers were not related to these awful lifestyle choices (smoking, obesity, drinking alcohol exposure to the sun). It also means that 81% of the cancers were not related to smoking–that’s a surprise! So if the caner bogieman is falling apart It is now time to pile on new diseases before someone notices they are related to something else too…
    (See http://www.medicaldaily.com/healthy-lifestyle-can-prevent-4-10-cancer-cases-uk-315540.)

    Now, this new campaign comes just in time for forcing (no), coercing (no), I mean inspiring people to quit smoking for the New Year It also fits into a global high operational tempo (uptempo) for new indoor/ outdoor smoking bans.

    In Kentucky which has rejected a statewide indoor ban for several years, there is a new push for bans. In fact The Courier-Journal has been hammering away toward that ban, joined by the Kentucky Chamber of Commerce. See the following editorial and op-eds”

    –” Editorial | Beyond smoke-free,” 27 December: http://www.courier-journal.com/story/opinion/editorials/2014/12/27/editorial-beyond-smoke-free/20911661/
    –“State needs smoke-free law,” 27 December: http://www.courier-journal.com/story/opinion/contributors/2014/12/27/state-needs-smoke-free-law/20911613/
    –“The damage of secondhand smoke,” 26 December: http://www.courier-journal.com/story/opinion/contributors/2014/12/26/damage-secondhand-smoke/20911899/
    — “Everyone has the right to breathe smoke-free air,” 26 December: http://www.courier-journal.com/story/opinion/contributors/2014/12/26/everyone-right-breathe-smoke-free-air/20911781/
    –“Chamber supports smoke-free law,” 26 December: http://www.courier-journal.com/story/opinion/contributors/2014/12/26/chamber-supports-smoke-free-law/20911755/

    All of these articles assert that there is broad support (about 65-70% in some claims) for a statewide smoking ban. A poll at Cincinatti.com on the other hand shows 371 votes for allowing businesses to decide and 118 for a government ban (76% opposed tobacco; 24% for) as of 29 December (http://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/2014/12/20/smoke-free-northern-kentucky-public-opinion-poll-legislation/20713611/).

    Obviously the Antismokers (supported by key media outlets) are shaping the information environment toward their desired end-state of prohibition. It is not clear they actually have the support they assert (they claim different rates, surveys are not conducted by independent polling concerns but rather by advocates which may bias their samples, etc. And then you have the case of Liberty, Ky that just repealed its smoking ban based upon public opinion as demonstrated at council meetings (the democratic process)”

    — “Liberty repeals smoking ban; public opinion swayed council members to revoke the ban,” 29 December, http://www.kyforward.com/our-health/2014/12/29/liberty-repeals-smoking-ban-public-opinion-swayed-council-members-to-revoke-the-ban/ .

    In New Orleans the Antismokers are seeking to expand their ban and enact a comprehensive indoor/outdoor ban. The tobacco control cult is busy trying to downplay any negative economic impact from that ban ignoring economic damage at casinos across the US and closed bars, pub, and taverns in the UK, and across the US. (See “Smokin’ dice: Clean air could cost casinos and the state,” Gambit, 29 December, http://www.bestofneworleans.com/gambit/smokin-dice/Content?oid=2552886 ). A really nice Free Choice rebuttal to the Antismoker’s Puritan rants is found at “Owen Courreges: Will New Orleans become a city of killjoys in 2015?,” Uptown Messenger, 29 December, http://uptownmessenger.com/2014/12/owen-courreges-will-new-orleans-become-a-city-of-killjoys-in-2015/ . Courregues rightly observes that the smoking ban will turn NOLA into a declining city of “Killjoys.” The Antis try to counter that in typically vitriolic comments.

    Finally, John Binder at The Hayride details the damage the ban would visit upon New Orleans. He also makes a case that Mayor Mitch Landrieu is likely totally supportive of Latoya Cantrells’ Bloombergian ban. (See “A Smoking Ban In New Orleans May Be Exactly What Mitch Landrieu Wants,” 29 December, http://thehayride.com/2014/12/a-smoking-ban-in-new-orleans-may-be-exactly-what-mitch-landrieu-wants/ ).

    Again, I wonder why the extreme uptempo right now. Why the outdoor bans in Canada, Australia, New Zealand? Why the Brazil ban? Why reinforce the French ban? Why start on China now? Why try again in Kentucky, Texas, Tennessee, Montgomery, Al, Oklahoma? Why cars with Children (Ireland, UK, Texas)? Why now?

    • harleyrider1978 says:

      You can write Kentucky off the list,they are using the same lame shit as last year on deaf ears…………In fact One finally came and said a few words when I posted from 2 days ago.

      Its gotton down to where they wont even fight back. The legislature is pretty much the same as what it was and has been for a long time. This issue in ky is dead and if Liberty is any sign of things to come I know of about 40 other little towns Ive fought against the bans that will likely also repeal soon enough. You have to remember its easy to offer up federal grant money to buy a ban,its another thing to keep that payoff coming in year after year.

      • harleyrider1978 says:

        A Smoking Ban In New Orleans May Be Exactly What Mitch Landrieu Wants

        With the prospects of a possible ban on smoking by the City of New Orleans, it is hard to say whether or not the proposal has enough support or not. But, one thing is for sure, if we had to guess, Mayor Mitch Landrieu is totally supportive of this nanny-state policy.

        First, let’s have a run down first on what the policy is and how it will damage New Orleans.

        What: An ordinance which would ban smoking in all public places in the city, forcing businesses and bars to comply or else be fined. The city of New Orleans would easily turn into big government New York City, where smoking cigarettes is banned, well, everywhere. Already, there are over 100 businesses in the city which have banned smoking, so a smoking ban on businesses who want to run their business how they like is beyond overreaching. And forget about smoking in public parks, etc. You’re likely to get hit with a fine if this policy is approved.

        Who: The New Orleans City Council member behind this ordinance is Latoya Cantrell (D). Cantrell has been endorsed by State Senator Karen Carter Peterson (D-New Orleans), so that should give you a clue on who she aligns herself with. Cantrell is following in typical liberal Michael Bloomberg’s footsteps, telling individuals how they should be living. And, Cantrell clearly sees no threat to tourism with this ordinance, though, the city’s famous Laissez-faire regulations on public drinking and smoking would be tarnished thanks to her smoking ban.

        But, we suspect Cantrell is not acting alone in bringing a smoking ban to the city of New Orleans.

        Mitch Landrieu has made it very clear how he feels about smoking in the past. Remember his proposed cigarette tax back in June? The plan failed three times and would have tripled the city’s current tobacco tax rate, which is 36 cents per pack to $1.11. Not to mention, this would make the city of New Orleans the only local government to have it’s own tobacco tax and would raise approximately $12 million to $18 million per year.

        Cities like New York have ridiculously high cigarette tax rates, which now we know only leads to more police involvement, more government and more instances like the Eric Garner case, in which a black man was attacked and allegedly killed by NYPD officers for selling loose cigarettes.

        Though Landrieu has not spoken publicly about this ordinance, it’s obvious this is a policy that would line up-perfectly with his ideology, which professes that elected officials know what is best for you.
        http://thehayride.com/2014/12/a-smoking-ban-in-new-orleans-may-be-exactly-what-mitch-landrieu-wants/

  6. Some French bloke says:

    These excerpts from Jonathon Green’s ‘Cassell’s Dictionary of Slang’ show that the expression ‘coffin nail’ predates ‘cancer stick’ by about a century:

    coffin nail/tack n.² [mid 19 C+] (also coffin screw, coffin spike) a cigarette; occas. a cigar [? no more than the resemblance of the cigarette to the nail; nicotine’s cancerous potential is very much a phenomenon of 1960s+. Note Jap. use of cancer stick, a mobile telephone, referring to the belief that the phones can irradiate the user]
    cancer stick [1950s+] a cigarette [the proven link between tobacco and lung cancer]

    (I’m sure everyone here read the words ‘proven’ and ‘cancerous potential’ with the required hefty pinch of salt.)

    Also of note, from the same source:
    coffin nail n.1 [19 C] a drink; thus the invitation to drink let’s put another nail in our coffins, let’s drive another nail… [the assumption that drink, esp. in the outposts of the Empire, was a killer.]
    cancer alley n. [1980s+] (US) the industrial area of a city. [the polluting factories may well issue carcinogens into the atmosphere]

  7. mikef317 says:

    Off topic. On Ebola. Very long (but very good) story on the spread of the virus. It’s from the New York Times, so naturally there’s no mention of all the resources the WHO wasted on fighting tobacco in Russia.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/30/health/how-ebola-roared-back.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=second-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=0

    Ebola news coverage in the U. S. has died down. It’s easy to get “dramatic” film of an ambulance driving up to a hospital in Dallas or New York City. (News at 11:00!) There aren’t many U. S. film crews in Africa. (And probably not BBC crews, either.)

    • mikef317 says:

      Forgot to mention. After you scroll down a bit, a bar appears at the top of the window. At the far right you can access comments on the story.

    • Frank Davis says:

      Maybe I missed something, but the article only looked at the story from December 2013 to June 2014. Is there a second half that goes from July 2014 to present? As it is, I was rather disappointed.

      • mikef317 says:

        Frank, maybe I should have, but I didn’t consider the 6/14 cut-off date important. In my mind the salient point was the ill-preparedness of people who get paid large salaries to deal with a health crisis. (The “authority” of “experts.”)

        Stories like this aren’t easy to research or write. I suspect there will be a follow up, covering events through the end of 2014. If so, it may be months before it is published (and, naturally, by then it will be 2015 and the piece will be out-of-date).

        Anyway, while it’s a bit early, happy new year!

        • Frank Davis says:

          I knew about the lack of preparedness. I wanted to know what’s happening now. I noticed a week or two back that deaths had risen to 7000. This report raised it to 7800. So I deduce that the Ebola epidemic is still in full swing, but not being reported.

          Which is sort of in line with censored story #2 in the Daily Sheeple that Harley mentioned last night.

  8. Rose says:

    Frank, your illustration reminds me very much of the duck spring rolls we ate for supper on Boxing Day.
    Now on reflection, the hoisin sauce we dipped them into is very reminiscent of what I originally assumed to be sticky toffee when the gentleman in the advert opened his pouch of rolling tobacco, the sauce made a similar mess too.

    As I can only assume that the makers of the advert are unlikely to have any idea of what rotting meat really looks like, I wonder if that was the source of their inspiration.

    For their further guidance.

    How meat is aged.

    Hanging (meat)

    “Meat hanging is a culinary process, commonly used in beef aging, that improves the flavor of meats by allowing the natural enzymes in the meat to break down the tissue through dry aging. The process also allows the water in the meat to evaporate, thus concentrating the flavor.

    All meat was hung and dry aged from the 1950s up to the early 1960s because butchers had discovered that their beef was more tender and flavorful than the meat that was eaten immediately after its preparation.However, in the 1960s, a combination of meat hanging’s expense and the new process of wet-aging caused meat hanging to almost stop entirely. Meat hanging experienced a surge of popularity in the 1980s though, and dry aged beef continues to be sold in high-end restaurants around the world”
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanging_(meat)

    As Frank illustrates, cooking in paper is an entirely reasonable practice.

    “En papillote (French for “in parchment”), or al cartoccio in Italian, is a method of cooking in which the food is put into a folded pouch or parcel and then baked.”
    http: //en.wikipedia.org/wiki/En_papillote

    And of course as a source of flavourful preservation, you can’t beat smoking.

    Smoked meat

    “Smoked meat is a method of preparing red meat (and fish) which originates in prehistory. Its purpose is to preserve these protein-rich foods, which would otherwise spoil quickly, for long periods. There are two mechanisms for this preservation: dehydration and the antibacterial properties of absorbed smoke. In modern days, the enhanced flavor of smoked foods makes them a delicacy in many cultures.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoked_meat

    I hope that if the ad agency venture into the subject of rotting meat again, this information will make their representation look less ridiculous.

  9. harleyrider1978 says:

    The Compiled Book of anti-smoking JUNK SCIENCE in 25 simple pages

    Research and analysis

    Smoking: progressive decline of the body’s major systems

    Public Health England commissioned review on the impact of smoking on musculoskeletal system, cognitive function, oral health and vision.

    Document

    The role of smoking in the progressive decline of the body’s major systems

    Ref: PHE publications gateway number: 2014597
    PDF, 445KB, 25 pages

    This file may not be suitable for users of assistive technology. Request a different format.

    https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/smoking-progressive-decline-of-the-bodys-major-systems

  10. harleyrider1978 says:

    The Police State is in full swing now that new years is here…………you name it YOUR GUILTY!
    How I loved the days when you could drink and drive home and never see another MF’r for 30 miles after the bars closed. No Cops…………Since that time America has created at least 17 new law enforcement agencies from the state level to the Federal level.

  11. Haha! Superb Frank, great talent you have there. :)

  12. harleyrider1978 says:

    Against Discrimination

    ‘Restaurants and bars are private places. They have owners, just like homes. Restaurant and bar owners should be able to set smoking rules for their establishments, much like you can set smoking rules in your own household.

    Nobody forces a customer into a particular restaurant or bar; drinkers and diners are free to choose among the alternatives available, each of which has a unique environment, including its set of smoking rules. Discussions about “smoker’s rights vs. nonsmoker’s rights” miss the fundamental issue: restaurant and bar owners’ property rights.’
    ……………………………….
    Please “like” and “share” the video. Peopel should learn the difference between public places and private properties. Please help us to spread the truth and popularize the facts. Let’s expose the anti-smoker’s lies. Let’s won’t let them take our freedom away from us.

  13. harleyrider1978 says:

    Looked who sadly reported the REPEAL…………..From Kentucky Health News

    Monday, December 29, 2014
    Liberty repeals smoking ban; public opinion swayed council members to revoke the ban

    Liberty city council members voted 5-1 to repeal a city-wide smoking ban in public buildings that was passed narrowly in November. The law was to go into effect Jan. 1, Larry Rowell reports for The Casey County News.

    The ban had passed in November when Mayor Steve Sweeney cast the deciding vote because the council was split 2-2. Two council members were absent at the meeting, Rowell reports in a separate article.

    A special meeting was called Dec. 17 for first reading of an ordinance to rescind the ban and a new restaurant tax; both passed on second reading Dec. 22, but Sweeney vetoed the restaurant measure, which passed 4-2. He could not veto the smoking measure because it passed 5-1. Council Member Brian Beeler stood by his original vote for the ban, but Member Andy Lawhorn switched to oppose it.

    “I stand by what I voted for,” said Lawhorn, who lost the November election for mayor to Council Member Steven Brown. “We sit here and say that second hand smoke is not harmful. I smoke. If we can actually say it’s not harmful to us or other people and ‘other people’ being the key word, we’re in denial. That’s just a fact.” But he said he changed his vote because of public opinion.

    “I’ve heard a lot of outpouring conversations from the public that’s come to me that was against it. And I feel that maybe I voted my conscience and what I believe kind of before I got any feedback, good quality feedback, from the public on what they wanted,” Lawhorn said.

    Several Liberty residents attended the meeting and voiced their opinions about the issue, Rowell reports. One woman whose husband died from complications of smoking said public places should be made safe, and Jelaine Harlow, a health educator from the Lake Cumberland District Health Department, said it’s a public health issue, much like keeping sewage out of water supplies.

    But County Attorney Tom Weddle, a smoker, objected that the ordinance would not allow him to smoke in his office after hours, when no one else is around. Councilman Doug Johnson, a non-smoker who has made two businesses smoke-free, agreed with Weddle and said to people who don’t like secondhand smoke, “You should boycott that place until they yield to no smoking but we should not mandate that to the owner. If we mandate that, we can mandate anything. It’s their personal space, they own it even though it’s open to the public. It is privately owned.”

    Studies have found that 65 percent of Kentuckians support banning smoking in indoor public places, but despite this support only 23 Kentucky communities have smoke-free policies that cover all workplaces and enclosed public places, according to the Smoke-Free Kentucky website. This breaks down to 32 percent of Kentuckians covered by strong local smoke-free laws.

    From Kentucky Health News

    http://www.kyforward.com/our-health/2014/12/29/liberty-repeals-smoking-ban-public-opinion-swayed-council-members-to-revoke-the-ban/

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  15. harleyrider1978 says:

    The Most Censored Health News Stories of 2014 – Here’s What the Establishment Doesn’t Want

    http://www.thedailysheeple.com/the-most-censored-health-news-stories-of-2014-heres-what-the-establishment-doesnt-want-you-to-remember_122014

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