The Watermelon Daydream

I met up for lunch today with an old schoolmate who I hadn’t seen for 47 years. We’d gone separate ways since we’d left school. I’d gone into university and computing. He’d set up his own import business, which had been doing very well until it was more or less taxed and regulated out of existence a few years ago.

And when I got home, and switched on the computer, I found myself over on DP watching John Stossel,

and hearing one grim story after another about people being, well,… taxed and regulated out of existence. Kids being prevented from selling lemon juice, lobster fishermen being prosecuted for landing lobsters in the wrong sort of boxes, house owners fined for having the wrong trees in their gardens.

DP’s own transport business also seems to be being slowly taxed and regulated out of existence.

It set me wondering. For it seems to me quite obvious that, if you tax and regulate enough businesses out of existence, you end up crashing the economy. The smoking ban provides a good example of how it happens, as pubs close, and tobacco taxation soars. You close down enterprise, and you close down trade, and you bankrupt lots of people, and you create unemployment (and maybe even starvation). And when that happens, government tax revenues – which are skimmed off business profits, after all – will dry up, and there’ll be no money to pay all the taxers and regulators feeding off the crashing economy. So over-taxation and over-regulation must invariably result in the demise of the taxers and regulators. But maybe only after the demise of the entire economy. Over-taxation and over-regulation is like cancer feeding off a healthy body: in the end, the cancer gets killed off, but often only after the patient has died beforehand.

It seems obvious to me that this is the inevitable end result. And it probably seems obvious to many of my readers as well. And so why isn’t it obvious to the taxers and regulators too?

Well, perhaps it is! And perhaps they really do want to kill off the economy.

After all, there are a lot of people – socialists of one stripe or other – who hate something called Capitalism, and who want to Smash Capitalism and replace it with a benign socialist command economy. Such people really do want to crash the capitalistic economy, which they tell you is driven by ‘greed’ – greed for profits, with profit being just another name for theft. What better way to throttle capitalism than by taxing and regulating it out of existence?

For these people, profit-making capitalistic enterprise is seen as something wholly evil, creating a minority of rich people at the expense of a lot of poor people. And it’s very largely the government which tries to limit or restrain capitalism, and so government is good because it is opposes evil capitalism (much like Tobacco Control regards itself as good because it opposes evil tobacco companies).

So, anyway, what happens when the economy has been totally crashed, and all businesses have been driven into bankruptcy, and people are starving? Well, that’s where the Greens come in. The new post-capitalist command economy will be run using windmills and sunshine. Because capitalist enterprises are always dirty and polluting (another thing which goes to show how evil they are), and so the old capitalist energy sources of coal and oil and nuclear will have to go. And everyone will have to eat lentils. Just lentils. And not drink or smoke or own cars and TVs, because all these things are examples of greedy consumerism, which will be banished once capitalism has been smashed. Everyone (or at least the few that remain after starvation has decimated the population) will live in simple thatched cottages, eating lentils, and working on the land growing hydroponic lentils. And they will be healthy. And they will be happy.

This is the Red-Green Watermelon alliance’s Pol-Pot-redux grand plan, as  far as I can see.

But (and call me stupid if you like) I don’t think that it’ll actually work, though. I think they may well succeed in collapsing the economy. They’re doing fairly well, after all, across the whole of Europe, and much of the rest of the world. But I don’t think that they’ll ever get as far as implementing their windmill-driven, post-capitalist, Common-Purpose-led command economy. And this will be partly because the whole idea is completely unworkable, and partly because their efforts in this direction will hampered by finding themselves all hanging from lamp posts.

Because ordinary, non-socialist, non-Green people (which is the vast proportion of the population) will not be pleased to see the economy collapse, and for lentils and windmills to be the only things on sale in shops. Instead of welcoming the new Watermelon era with open arms, they will demand that the old, evil capitalist economy to be restored, complete with TV sets and all the other goodies, and they will string up anyone who tries to prevent it. And they will repeal all the asphyxiating rules and regulations, and slash all the crushing taxes, and fire all the taxers and regulators (those that they haven’t strung up, that is).

But there’s another reason why I don’t think the Watermelon Conspiracy will ever work. And that is that I don’t actually think there is any such conspiracy at all. Because, for there to be such a conspiracy, the conspirators will have had to have been working hard for years, planning, testing, learning, innovating, organising, etc, and generally behaving just like the capitalist entrepreneurs they revile. Nope, your average socialist or green is completely incapable of doing very much more than reading a lot of books, and sitting round talking revolution, and then getting high on grass. None of them have a clue about economics, or a clue about ecology, or a clue about anything at all. Yes, they all hate capitalism. And they all love windmills. But replace one with the other? It’s just another hallucinogenic daydream of theirs.


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16 Responses to The Watermelon Daydream

  1. jaxthefirst says:

    And, of course there’s always that minor inconvenience that they are every bit as hooked on money as are all those greedy Capitalists that they so despise. They’re just not as open about how much they love the filthy lucre and try and dress it up as something else, like “saving the Earth,” or “protecting the environment.” A bit like anti-smokers will never, ever, admit how hooked they are on the funding they receive or on being the “top dog” and only ever pretend that the vile war they wage on smokers is all “for their own good,” or “for public health reasons,” or “for the children,” or because it will “save lives.”

    But then, when we’re led by a bunch of barefaced (and, these days, highly unconvincing) liars who daily trot out “positively spun” reasons for the clearly nonsensical decisions they make, it’s hardly surprising that (a) they are going to support others who adopt the same dishonest approach to their activities as they do, and (b) that those others will see dishonesty as an inherently acceptable way of operating – if the guys at the top are all doing it, then it must be OK, right?

    Never mind institutionalised racism, or sexism, or any other form of institutionalised prejudice, one of the most fundamental problems in the UK today is a form of institutionalised dishonesty right from the top downwards, which makes it almost a crime to tell the truth or be honest about one’s reasons for doing anything!

  2. smokervoter says:

    BBC just ran the Australian Gruesome Pack court decision here.

    I have just had the pleasure of listening to conservative radio talk show host Dennis Prager weigh in on the Australian supreme court decision regarding plain (horror faced) packaging. He was joined by my absolute favorite angry-comedian on the face of the earth – the one and only Adam Carolla. Neither of these are probably household names in UK/Europe (notice how I differentiated the two, I’m learning, I’m learning – the UK and Europe are two separate entities) but I would encourage everyone and anyone from Frank’s online pub here to avail themselves of the opportunity to listen in on this, it is fantastic.

    The actual podcast date you want to tune-in to will be the 15 August show (US Date/Time). Adam Carolla joins him on-air for the last half-hour of the show and they discuss the decision and smoking bans. Additionally they talk about the beach restrictions in force on San Diego beaches versus the freedom of the beaches just across the border in Mexico. A guy from San Diego calls in and rails off 10 things he did on 4th of July in Mexico (including smoking of course) that would be against the law in San Diego/America.

    Adam Carolla’s description of going to the beach in Mexico in pre-Nanny California is the story of my life in a nutshell. I’ve spent collectively probably two years of my life in Mexico and had a small business importing seafood from there to California from 1991-1997. One of the great tragedies of my life is what has happened to that once wonderful ‘relief valve’ of a country. The violence caused by the drug gangs has literally destroyed the place. I won’t go there anymore. I’m blonde and stick out like a sore thumb to any kidnapper looking to make a quick yankee dollar.

    I happen to have a very quirky and direct relationship with Adam Carolla in many ways – he’s a carpenter, he’s a native Californian, he’s a right-winger and a dedicated Counter-Nannyist and I did some commercial remodel work for a friend of his once. The friend in question bummed a smoke from me about two hours after first giving me a perfunctory mini-lecture on the adverse health effects of tobacco. After torching up our cigarettes the guy (a doctor no less) told me “You know you remind me of Adam Carolla” who I didn’t know from, well, that other Adam at the time.

    He was the doctor who first informed me of the Japanese Paradox – highest smoking rate – lowest lung cancer rate. I commented on this a long time ago on here.

    I’m going to supply two links here that I hope will enable you all to hear this broadcast, it is a classic. Just to be safe, tune in to the last 45 minutes of the show to catch Prager’s lead-in and Carolla’s subsequent arrival.

    If you happen to be a member of iTunes try this one and be forewarned the 15 August show wasn’t up as of right now but it will be forthcoming I’m sure. Bookmark it – Dennis Prager is one of us.

    Dennis Prager Podcast on iTunes

    Here is his website, which advertises LISTEN to the SHOW 24 Hours a Day/ 7 days a Week. You might have to sign up – it is worth it. It doesn’t cost anything.

    The Official Dennis Prager Website and Podcast

    If I was more of a techno geek I’d have blow-by-blow instructions but I’m not.

    Good luck.

    • Fredrik Eich says:

      “Japanese Paradox – highest smoking rate – lowest lung cancer rate.”

      Actually Mexico has a lower lung cancer rate than Japan but I am not sure about smoking prevelace.
      You can compare countries with this on line tool.

      Although Mexico has a relativley high proportion of young people, if you look at lung cancer among 70 – 74 year olds only you still see that Mexico has very little lung cancer.
      For example,

      The number of Mexicans aged 70 – 74 dieng of lung cancer is about the same as Scotland give or take a couple of hundred despite the fact that there are about 10 times as many Mexicans in that age group as Scotish people.

  3. smokervoter says:

    I found this site too. Right Now you’ll find this segment under THE DENNIS PAGER SHOW (orange letters):

    Prager 20120815 – 3 Chains

    Prager H3: Joe Biden told a largely black audience that Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan want to return them to “chains.” Can you imagine if a Republican made a comment like that about Democrats… Australia won’t allow cigarette packages to display anything, but horrific cancer pictures. Even rugged Australia is losing its liberties… Adam Carolla stops by for a visit.

    Click to Listen

    I think H3 stands for Hour Three, as it’s a three hour show. They break the podcasts into three one-hour segments obviously.

    You’ll have to join, but it’s free.

    I have no doubt whatsoever that Prager would love this blog at first sight.


  4. smokervoter says:

    Hmmmm. Ya’ see all of Prager’s pages have these Contact buttons and Email Dennis buttons and if his assistants got a flurry of emails from around the globe suggesting he check out Banging on about the Smoking Ban and then he started reading it regularly and then went back through the archives and read some more and some more, and started quoting your posts on his show… Next thing ya’ know — 5,000 hits a day.

    No kidding, your stuff deserves eyeballs upon eyeballs in my opinion. This piece today is masterful. Prager would love it.

    The way I see it there are four circular feedback loops who blow themselves up peacock-display style and give the world the impression that the lentils and windmill lifestyle is the new Way Forward. It is the media, academia, governments and of course the drones.

    After some pretty exacting and sober mathematical analysis of my state (supposedly the big, worldwide trend setter) in the aftermath of Prop 29, I think they amount to a (passively-aggressive) boisterous 15% of the population. Blown up peacock style they appear to be about 60%.

    Does anyone follow me on that passively-aggressive boisterous part? They all speak in squishy, adenoidal monotones. The women are slightly masculine and the men are slightly feminine. But they are The New Wave and they’ve studied the situation and you’d best get in line with the times, or else!

    • garyk30 says:

      “Does anyone follow me on that passively-aggressive boisterous part?”

      Loud-mouthed bullies that whine and cringe when you standup to them.

      • smokervoter says:

        Exactamente Gary.

        He/She has won plenty of virtual fights on his X-Box and he’s “like, studied Tae Kwon Do, dude, for 3 months, and the instructor was like awesome, dude”, but he/she has never, ever been in a real fight in his/her permanently extended-childhood of a life.

  5. nisakiman says:

    I don’t think we need worry about the watermelons themselves, Frank, they are just the useful idiots, the foot-soldiers. They have no master plan themselves. The ones we have to watch for are the puppeteers who control them, the suits in the shadows.

    I’m not a tinfoil hatter, but I came across a comment a couple of weeks ago (under a post on the NWO, which I’m undecided about as yet) which made me think a bit. I’ll reproduce part of it here:

    “…there was mention of the Frankfurt School of Thought, a Marxist plan devised in 1928 where leading theorists were given the task of devising a method of destablising foreign powers and make them ready for political take-over. The resultant manifesto included:
    1. The creation of racist offences
    2. Continual change to create confusion
    3. The teaching of sex and homosexuality to children
    4. The undermining of the authority of teachers and schools
    5. A huge immigration programme to destroy national identity.
    6. An unrelable legal system with bias against the victims.
    7.Dependence on the State for benefits and accommodation.
    8. Emptying of the churches and reducing the importance of religion.
    9. Encouraging the breakdown of the family.
    10.The formation of a ‘community of women’ to undermine patriarchy.
    There are others, just as scary.”

    To which you could add ‘the destruction of social life via a smoking ban’. It would sit nicely with the rest.

    It was in the comments on this post:

    • Frank Davis says:

      I’ve heard of it, of course.

      It’s quite easy to break things. But it’s very hard to make things. I’m pretty good at breaking cups and glasses. I’ve probably broken dozens of them throughout my life. But I’ve never actually made a single cup or glass.

      The Frankfurt programme you set out is one of vandalism. Of smashing windows and breaking down doors. And that’s quite easy to do. And maybe they’re doing it. The difficult bit is it to make a new society out of the bits of the broken one.

      And I’ve never seen a Frankfurt programme of social reconstruction. And I doubt I ever will. And if I do, I bet it’ll be baloney.

    • jackiec06 says:

      Re: your # 10, Nisakiman —
      Don’t know that the goal is to “undermine patriarchy”, but weird none the less…

  6. bing22 says:

    Simon Crapman made an appearance in the comments section to his article (link on Snowdon’s blog). The “Chapman Trick” was raised with Simple Simon. It was sad watching the fanatic try to weasel his way out of having influenced the “movement” (another of his contributions) with the trick. It must be bothering him, being “outed” – as it should, for him to make a re-appearance and attempt an address, pitiful as it was.

  7. harleyrider1978 says:

    A tribute to MayorFuhrer Bloomingidiot

    • harleyrider1978 says:

      I dont know why,but I just remembered this song from the 80s JUNK FOOD JUNKIE it was quite the hit in Nashville Tn………

  8. garyk30 says:

    I don’t think it will work either.
    But, there is one act of nature that could send us back to the ‘Dark Ages’.

    A solar flare of sufficient force would fry all of the things electric in the whole country.
    It would take a loooooong time to replace the electric grid and all of the computerized stuff in the economy.

    Cities would become kill-zones as people fought over food.

    Some city dwellers would try to vanalize the countryside; but, most of the rural folks are prepared to defend their land and goods.

    The world would end in chaos and destruction.

  9. Rose says:


    I just had another look at Mapacho.
    Over all it appears that it produces a large amount of thick smoke and apart from anything else , it can cause nausea, dizziness and coughing.

    “A custome lothsome to the eye, hatefull to the Nose, harmefull to the braine, dangerous to the Lungs, and in the blacke stinking fume thereof, neerest resembling the horrible Stigian smoke of the pit that is bottomelesse.”

    But it’s all very vague and unreliable, different websites say different things.

    • Rose says:

      The definitive answer on how much nicotine is in N. Rustica.

      Production and Use of Nicotine from Crops in Peace and War- The Yearbook of Agriculture 1950-1951
      United States Department of Washington, D. C.

      “BECAUSE OF THE CONTINUED strong demand for nicotine, the increased prices of low grades of leaf tobacco, and increased freight rates for moving the raw material, experiments have been under way for several years to find an environment in the United States where high nicotine-producing strains of Nicotiana rustica might be profitably grown.

      Extract plants in the growing areas might put out the finished product, like 40-percent nicotine sulfate, or a semifinished product of perhaps 10 percent nicotine content which can be shipped to a central plant for purification and concentration.

      In the absence of available low-grade leaf tobacco, the American production of nicotine now is confined to large plant operations, where the supplies of raw material consumed are thousands of tons annually.
      Such raw material now is of relatively low nicotine content from 0.3 to I percent.

      In order to use high-nicotine material llke N. rustica, which has 6 to 10 percent nicotine content in the leaves and a correspondingly high ammonia content, special methods were developed at the Eastern Regional Research Laboratory.”

      Ernest G. Beinhart is a senior tobacco technologist in the Eastern Research Laboratory. He has had extensive industial and Government experience with American tobaccos.”

      The whole article is a mine of information, from the days when Big Tobacco was respectable, it even mentions nicotinic acid and vitamins.

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