Surprising article in the Mail:
One in ten Britons going OVERSEAS just to avoid the ‘Greatest Show on Earth’
hordes of British people will be going to exceptional lengths to stay away from the high profile event.
The older generation is the least keen to stay in the UK, with 22 per cent of over 65s intending to head overseas to make sure they miss the event.
Eighteen per cent of people aged 55 to 64 will join them in leaving the country when the Olympics are on.
I wonder why? Surely, in our health and fitness-obsessed modern society, people would be flocking to watch other people run round in circles and jump over things and throw stuff? In fact, wouldn’t they come running?
Or perhaps they’re letting their homes out to the millions of athletes who will arrive in Britain, and have to go somewhere else?
Hollywood director Danny Boyle chooses Shakespeare theme for £81m opening spectacular
81 million quid for an opening spectacular! Jesus wept. I reckon I could do the opening ceremony on a fiver or less: Just break open a can of lager, light up a sparkler, and say, “Right, it’s started.”
27-ton bell inspired by Shakespeare will form the centrepiece of £27m opening ceremony
What the hell has Shakespeare got to do with the Olympics? He was a poet and playwright, wasn’t he? Or did he used to jog every morning from Stratford-on-Avon to London’s Globe theatre? Or practise pole-vaulting on Sunday afternoons on Highgate hill?
Why not have in a few other famous English people? Like Rudyard Kipling, or Horatio Nelson, or Isaac Newton. They’ve got about as much to do with the Olympics as Shakespeare ever did (i.e. nothing at all). In fact, why not have an opening 100 metre sprint featuring Shakespeare and Kipling and Nelson and Newton, and Henry VIII, and all dressed as beefeaters or archbishops? Well, it’d be memorable, wouldn’t it? You wouldn’t forget it in a hurry. Particularly when Shakespeare won, and appeared in front of the cameras afterwards to pant, “Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day,” or something equally hackneyed and unoriginal.
And how did Shakespeare manage to inspire someone to make a 27-ton bell? Did he make bells in his spare time? Along with all the jogging and pole-vaulting?
Hundreds of NHS nurses and schoolchildren will be involved in event
What in blazes have nurses got to do with it? I suppose it must be the health and fitness thing. Or maybe they’re going to be there to tend the hundreds of exhausted athletes with sprained ankles and torn Achilles tendons?
Perhaps the Queen will appear too, and jump over a few hurdles? On a horse. Wearing armour. I mean, why not?
The whole thing is utterly barmy. No wonder millions of people are going to flee Britain.