I Have To Have A Beer

Our Green future. I’m not in the least bit surprised.

And via Dave Atherton,  we learn that “just over 3 million or 7.5% of the adult population have a crafty smoke”. Once again, I’m not in the least bit surprised.

There are some 3.02 million Brits who class themselves as “non-smokers”, but admit to having the occasional cigarette or having a “puff” of someone else’s cigarette, according to research by Sainsbury’s Life Insurance.

Via Chris Snowdon:

HEALTH activists who believe even one alcoholic drink can cause cancer are lobbying MPs in Canberra today for limits on how much we consume and how much we pay for it.

Just one drink can cause cancer. Just one cigarette can cause cancer. Gimme a break.

Same story, via Dick Puddlecote:

Dr Vivienne Nathanson, head of science and ethics for the British Medical Association, said: “We have to start de-normalising alcohol – it is not like other types of food and drink.”

As I asked in the comments, why do they “have to”? There isn’t really any “have to” about it. There’s no driving necessity to do anything at all here. Why the moral imperative always? Everything these people do seems to be absolutely imperative. I bet that even when they go to the beach, they tell people that they “have to” go to the beach, and “have to” swim in the sea, and “have to” have an ice cream. They do the same things as everybody else, but while everybody else chooses to do this or that, somehow or other they always “have to” do this or do that. And so do you.

Perhaps I should try it myself. If I meet up with a few people to go see a movie or something, and they want to see some strange avant-garde thing – Zombie Christmas or something -, I could maybe just quietly but very determinedly say:

“We have to see Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca.”

And they’d look at me, surprised, and ask, “Why do we HAVE to see it, Frank? We’ve seen it ten times already. We saw it last week, for chrissakes. And the week before.”

And I’d just say, “We have to go see Casablanca. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. This is a matter of necessity. My life depends upon it. And so does yours.”

And then, because they don’t HAVE to see Zombie Christmas, and I HAVE to see Casablanca, my necessity trumps their preference. So we would go see Casablanca. And afterwards we would have to have steak and chips, and not an Indian takeaway.

Maybe that would work, if I was sufficiently determined (which of course I’m not). But it’s really just a method of getting your own way, by falsely claiming some urgent necessity where there is none. “Out of the way, everyone, I’ve got a pregnant woman/dying man/sick child here, and he/she needs  a bottle of St Emillion 1973 right now.”

Perhaps that’s the whole scam of theirs. It’s what they’re doing with smoking. And with global warming. And everything else. And it’s really just their method of getting their own way. And they do it all the time. And it never fails.

Anyway…, I could do with a beer. No, let me rephrase that. I should’ve said that I need a beer. Hmmm, still not strong enough.

I HAVE TO HAVE A BEER!!

That’s the ticket.