Another Lamp Post Please

Me, all I want is to be able to sit in a pub and drink a pint of beer and smoke a cigarette. But if you want to do that these days it seems you have to have a revolution. So right, let’s have a revolution. And hang all the bastard MPs who voted for the smoking ban from lamp posts. That’s what you do in revolutions, isn’t it?

Of course, not all MPs voted for the smoking ban, so they wouldn’t all swing. Tom Harris wouldn’t swing. Quite a few MPs wouldn’t. And neither would Boris Johnson.

And Boris Johnson is one of the few politicians I’ve had any time for in recent years. He’s been a breath of fresh air, whether he’s been writing as editor of the Spectator, or presenting Have I Got News For You, or fronting documentaries about the Roman Empire, or running for parliament or mayor, or conducting scandalous affairs with assorted brainy beauties. It made a change from the rest of the dreary suits and shapeless twinsets that inhabit Westminster.

But now I don’t know quite what to think of Boris. I simply don’t understand why, last week, he came out and wrote a piece in the Telegraph downplaying the Climategate scandal which has, very arguably, succeeded in derailing the Copenhagen conference, and making world leaders look like bumbling fools. Not that we didn’t know that already.

We may be told by thousands of scientists and environmentalists that we are about to fry – and we may be able to understand the case they make – but some deep instinct none the less urges us to believe, inductively, that things will go on more or less as they are. That is why the polls show such an amazingly obstinate public refusal to accept the reality of global warming. That is why there is still a market for thermoscepticism of all kinds. That is why people seize on a few stray emails from the University of East Anglia which seem – wrongly – to undermine the scientific case.

That ‘deep instinct’ used to be yours as well, Boris. That deep gut instinct that people are trying to pull the wool over your eyes, and fool you into doing something you don’t want to do, don’t need to do, and indeed would be a complete mug to do.

That ‘deep instinct’ used to be known as common sense. And common sense used to be something that people drew on when they looked around them with their own eyes, and formed their own opinions, never mind what thousands of scientists and environmentalists might be telling them. And right now my own two eyes are telling me that I’m sitting in bed with a pullover and a heavy cloak and the blankets over me, and a hot water bottle under my knee. There’s nothing ‘inductive’ about it. Nor will there be anything inductive about  it when I next pluck up the courage to head down to the frozen kitchen to boil up another cup of tea that will have cooled to a tepid liquid within 5 or 10 minutes. It’s freezing. Effing freezing.

And not just here. There’s snow on the beach in Nice today. And there are thousands of Eurostar passengers screaming blue murder having spent a night in the channel tunnel after condensation brought five trains to a halt as they left deep-frozen France.

Global warming? You must be joking. The planet has been cooling for the past 10 years. And that’s what people are noticing, despite all the claims of thousands of scientists (well, 50 or 60 IPCC lead writers) that we’re going to ‘fry’. And the scientists are deeply embarrassed by it. And we know they’re deeply embarrassed, because we’ve read the emails in which they say so. Here’s UEA boffin Kevin Trenberth writing just two months ago on 12 October 2009:

Well I have my own article on where the heck is global warming? We are asking that here in Boulder where we have broken records the past two days for the coldest days on record. We had 4 inches of snow…. The fact is that we can’t account for the lack of warming at the moment and it is a travesty that we can’t.

So why the heck do you choose this moment to convert to the Church of Global Warming? I mean, really! Of all times, this? Quite obviously you’ve been nobbled. It’s all hands to the pumps on the good ship Global Warming, isn’t it? And you’ve been roped in too, as Mayor of London, to try vainly to staunch the flow of collapsing public belief as the Eddystone rock of Climategate has torn an enormous and ever-widening hole in the side of that ill-starred, jerry-built paddleboat.

And it’s a scam and a fraud. The threat of carbon dioxide is a threat as illusory as the equally non-existent threat of environmental tobacco smoke. It’s all the same thing. And all these various frauds and scams are coming apart. And it’s bringing down an entire political class. And the media empires that won’t report either of them. Or any of the other ones.

There’s nothing for it.

Another lamp post please.

About Frank Davis

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6 Responses to Another Lamp Post Please

  1. Anonymous says:

    Where the heck is global warming?

    More “where the heck is global warming” by Minnesotans For Global Warming. Minnesota is a U.S. state adjacent to the border with Canada.

  2. Anonymous says:

    It doesn’t entirely surprise me about Boris, to be honest. Having always been a big fan of his – personally if not politically – it came as something of a nasty shock to me when one of the first – yes, the first – things he announced was that he was going to ban drinking alcohol on the underground network. Firstly, because he’s always been slightly critical of the smoking ban, so it seemed rather hypocritical for him to jump onto the next approaching bandwagon at such an early opportunity; but secondly – and perhaps most importantly – because it indicated that he was as out of touch as the rest of them, for all the fact that his down-to-earth, rather “blustering toff” image might indicate otherwise. Many people getting onto the tube late at night would already be drunk anyway (and all credit to them for not jumping in their cars instead), so stopping them having a couple of cans of lager during their journey certainly wouldn’t sober them up. And surely very few people getting onto the tube at the start of the evening – sober – would be planning to spend their whole night on there boozing, so again, a drink or two on their way would hardly be likely to result in roaring drunkenness by the time they got off. So, his embrace of the AGW theory isn’t entirely out of character, although it is disappointing.

  3. Frank Davis says:

    I too had my reservations about banning alcohol on the underground. Too much banning this and banning that. But in the days long ago when I used to use it, nobody much drank anything on the underground, so I couldn’t see that it mattered much. All the same, I take your point.

  4. junican says:

    So I have just finished work and I need to get home, but I would like to have ‘a beer’ while I am on my way home. But there is an alcohol ban on the underground, so what do I do?
    Simple. Before I go to work, I put a double vodka into a 500 mil bottle of coke. I take it with me to work and drink it on the way home.
    Surely, that must be what everyone must be doing? It is so obvious. BUT……that is not what the ban is for. It is just another publicity stunt, to make the government seem to be DOING SOMETHING about yobs swigging booze on the train and being a nuisance. Well done chaps!

  5. Anonymous says:

    Ranty says…
    Boris was a huge disappointment to me. I don’t even live in bloody London. The booze ban was his first stamp. He said he would do something about that congestion charge. He did. He is considering nailing people for it earlier. His AGW stance was also like a breath of fresh air.
    As you say, a nobbling has taken place.
    The decent ones were too few and too far between but when BoJo went it left a sour taste.
    NONE of them can be trusted.

  6. Frank Davis says:

    Re: Ranty says…
    NONE of them can be trusted.
    That’s the conclusion I’m led towards as well.

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