Not reading any newspapers, or watching any TV, it’s a bit hard for me to keep up with all the gossip and scandal (as if I wanted to anyway). But it seems that Prince Harry has been snapped doing something naughty, and now the whole British press has been asked to not publish the photos.
I haven’t seen the pics myself, obviously, because I’m British, and we’re not allowed to see them, obviously. But I got to wondering what us Brits wouldn’t be allowed to see. What could it be? Might it be pictures of him naked, humping some blonde on a pool table in, say, Las Vegas? Nope, I thought. Couldn’t be that. He’d come out of anything like that looking really masculine, and it would lend the Royal Family a new virility. And anyway probably Lady Gaga or someone would say he looked really ‘fit’. Which would be worth millions to them.
No, I thought that the worst thing he could have possibly been caught doing would have been smoking cigarettes. Particularly after I read this:
His father, Prince Charles, who has never smoked, is stunned at Harry’s recent return to smoking and is appalled that his son was recaptured by nicotine addiction so easily. and now 24-year-old, third in line to throne, Prince Harry is smoking 10/20 cigarettes everyday (more than when he’s out partying).
The ‘wild one’ has a bit of previous, it seems:
Prince Harry was sent to a drugs rehabilitation clinic for a day after he admitted smoking cannabis and drinking alcohol.
Prince Charles decided to shock his 17-year-old son after learning he had taken drugs in the grounds of his Highgrove home, and drunk heavily at a local pub, said the News of the World.
It was obvious really. And if you’re an ace sleuth like me, you pretty soon spot the obvious. And in next to no time I’d tracked them down. But I’m not going to knuckle down like the spineless British press and refuse to publish the photos. So here they are in all their glory: Smoking Hot Harry!
So there you have it. These are the controversial pictures that are going to get Harry a rap over the knuckles from his father. These are the pictures they don’t want you to see.
The entire British establishment may set out to take down my blog, but I won’t retract anything. MI5 and SIS can dig through my computer all they like. They can even drag me off to prison if they want. But I won’t give in. No, sir. Not me.
Because Harry is one of us. Harry is a smoker. And I’ll stick behind him through thick and thin, whatever his dad says. We smokers have to stick together.
P.S. More snaps of Harry being slightly controversial here.