H/T Roobeedoo for this glimpse into Life At The Top:
UKIP is aiming for public backing from Jeremy Clarkson before the European elections in May. Which given the Top Gear star lives in David Cameron’s constituency, and that the PM even dressed up as The Stig for Clarkson’s 50th birthday, isn’t going to go down too well with Dave. Their friendship has cooled of late, with Clarkson blaming the fact Samantha Cameron “is one of those non-smokers who suddenly remembers when she’s presented with a smoker like me that what she’d like to do is smoke all my bloody cigarettes”.
I’d always assumed that Samantha Cameron was most likely an antismoker, like Michele Obama. But from this I learn that she’s a non-smoker who smokes. I know the kind. Since they’re non-smokers, they never buy any cigarettes. So instead they smoke yours. A bit like Joan Bakewell.
But if Samantha Cameron is a smoking non-smoker, then most likely David Cameron is a smoking ex-smoker.
And of course Jeremy Clarkson is a smoker.
So I’m supposing that Jeremy Clarkson invited David and Samantha Cameron to his 50th birthday party, and the Camerons smoked all his cigarettes.
But if I had been Jeremy Clarkson, I’d have been feeling distinctly cool towards David Cameron ever since he became Prime Minister, and did nothing about the smoking ban.
But that’s not the reason for the cooling of relations. It’s that Samantha smokes all his cigarettes.
And yet Jeremy Clarkson, as presenter of Top Gear, must be pretty wealthy. So why should he be bothered if Samantha Cameron smokes his cigarettes? Surely he just has to go and get another 200 out of his vast tobacco warehouse whenever he runs out?
It doesn’t make sense.
This is a world that I’m not privy to, of course. But I imagine that they all entertain at home, where they can smoke as much as they like. They’re insulated from the smoking ban in pubs and clubs, because they never (or hardly ever) go to them. After all, I can’t remember the last time I saw Jeremy Clarkson smoking outside a pub anywhere. Or David and Samantha Cameron, for that matter.
But it would seem that, in that glittering world, even the non-smokers smoke. And the only thing that really bothers Jeremy Clarkson is not the smoking ban, but that his non-smoking guests smoke all his cigarettes.
It was probably the same with Prohibition in the USA. It probably didn’t affect the rich at all. They were probably as well stocked with alcohol throughout Prohibition as they had been before. Although, when the ‘non-drinking’ equivalents of Samantha Cameron showed up at a well-stocked house, they’d probably drink everybody under the table.
I think that it all goes to show that in Britain life at the top has carried on just like it always has. Smoking bans don’t affect them at all. It’s the poor suckers at the bottom who get hit by things like that.
It’s a form of hypocrisy. One rule for you, another one for us. All which makes for a deepening disconnect between the political class and the electorate that they no longer bother to represent.
P.S. I don’t seem to be able to open any WordPress website using my Chrome browser today, including my own. Anyone else got this problem?